your parents love me but you hate me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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