his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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