just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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