reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
