The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
