Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
