just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
