she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
