I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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