My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i barfeds in our rink
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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