i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
