Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
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