Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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