I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
