covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
