Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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