Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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