Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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