I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
