who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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