O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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