Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
