i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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