i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
