brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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