Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
