Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
