He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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