we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
