For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
