I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
