At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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