My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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