Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
