Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
After last night, I could never be a politician.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
