do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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