Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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