i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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