yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
