Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
