i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
