Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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