38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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