dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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