i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
