I got chris browned last night
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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