North Korea, Best Korea!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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