This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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