My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
