Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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