handjob tips. give me some.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
