I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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