Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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