So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
