I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize