Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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