Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
