i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
