There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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