My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
